Family Identity

The other day I was talking with a couple of friends of ours... We were discussing issues with family, teens, kids... And one of the things that came up in my heart was that they don't seem to have a Family Identity. My question to them was - What do you do for Family Time??

Family time is one of my hot buttons, one of my soap-box speeches to friends.

I'm not talking sitting in front of the TV and watching TV or DVD's. I'm not talking about riding in the car to and fro. I'm not talking about "going to church" (church is great, please get my point) where each one in the family goes their separate ways once they get into the building.

Those are the things that we do - at the same time - but they aren't spending time TOGETHER - interacting.

I'm not even talking about Parent/Child time. P/C time is fantastic and necessary. You can read a book with a child in your lap, go hit balls together in the front yard, have a tea party with your little girl... those things are together - but not family time.

I'm talking about ALL (Mom & Dad & all of the kids) of your family doing an activity together for the purpose of being together and creating a bonding experience, a memory. Putting together a Lego set or building sandcastles at the beach as a family does way more for your family than it appears - it helps create or fortify who you are as a family.

How do you build a Family Identity? Through Family Time & Family Traditions. We as families, need to create an atmosphere in our family, where we want to be together.. Build a basis of family fun & friendship! As they get older, and want to hang out with friends, you'll have that basis to build on!!

How do we incorporate Dad into the equation? We try to do only "fun" things like going to the Science Center or the Zoo when ALL of us can go. We schedule "fun" things around Rod's work schedule. If Rod really needs to be somewhere, he adjusts his work schedule so that he can participate.

Below is a list of some of the things that we do - our kids are 10 & under. I'm sure the list will change somewhat as they get older :D

Nelson Family Time:
*Reading a book together on the couch before bed
*Going to each others Baseball Games or Performances
*Mariners games or Concerts
*Taking bike rides
*Going to the park
*Playing Baseball or Football in the yard
*Flying Kites
*Road Trip!
*Going to the Pool or Beach
*Taking family pictures - This is one of the reasons I love photos, they capture those memories. You'll see we often take family pictures. That's one of our family things.(Kids love to see themselves & it's amazing how on purpose pictures show the kids they are loved & valued!)

Family Traditions:
*Yearly Family photo at the Tulips
*Yearly Family photo at the Pumpkin Patch
*Mariner's Games
*BBQ at my Mom & Dads for Mother's Day & Father's Day
*Camping during the Summer
*Trick or Treating on Halloween or Halloween Party
*Lefse & Krumkake on Thanksgiving & Christmas
*Mini pumpkin pies for the kids on Thanksgiving
*Blueberry Pancakes Christmas Morning
*After making pies, we cook leftover dough with Cinnamon & Sugar. YUM!
What is Family Identity? Togetherness. Cohesiveness. It's those things you do & character that you instill into your kids (each other) that testify to you & your children that you are more than a group of people, related, that live together.
Copyright © 2009 by Zindra Nelson, zindra@yahoo.com

Happy Graduation ~ Happy Birthday!

Today was a busy crazy day! We went to Friday School, the last one for this term. I am glad that it's over - because now we will have some more time with Rod, because he won't have to work odd hours to make up his 1/2 day on Friday morning for Friday School. Yet, I will miss all of my Friday School friends sorely.

Today is Jed's Birthday. We took him and 11 friends to Chuck E Cheese. Don't really know how that all happened but it did. I had gotten some coupons from CEC that I had saved thinking that we might do that for his birthday - and ended up using them. The lady let us use each of our two coupons 3 times ~ saving us a TON of money. Although, in order to save money, you often have to spend quite a bit (or none at all).

So, you all know we do cakes for the kid's birthdays - we did a TWINKIE cake for Jed's birthday! Jed hadn't decided on a cake a couple of days before & we were in the car talking about how we all love Twinkies - and I said well, Twinkies are really just cake with a cream filling. Then Jed asked if he could have a great big Twinkie cake. Uh, yah, that's one I'm sure we can do! Done, did!

Today also happens to be Display Night/Graduation for First Class Skagit County. It was a good display night. Rod gave out Chess awards. Josiah & Jedediah both got silver medals in their grade level round robins. Isaiah got a bronze - which he was totally surprised about. Hopefully that will be a good memory for him to take home to Mexico...

For displays for Display Night, we took two of our display boards from History Club. They were well liked. The one that got the most attention, was the one we thought of last - the Skagit Men's Garden Club one. Josiah and Jedediah are both the youngest members of SMGC and I had Josiah write up a diddy on what they do with the club and on the upcoming plant sale. Then I put pictures on it from plant sales gone by. The display board is one that I actually made for the Garden Club to put up at the plant sale last year, for advertising & education. It was so well loved, that the guys asked me to update it. So when I updated it, I added in the boy's info - which I will have to switch out for the plant sale in a couple of weeks.

Josiah though, stood and talked to numerous people about what he does with the Garden Club. It was really good for me to see him standing there, talking like a grown up about something that means so very much to him. Made momma proud!!!

Then at the end of the night we had graduation. 2 teens from our First Class Graduated! It was fantastic! It felt so much like a real graduation!!!! I have often had fears about wanting a real graduation for my kids - and not knowing how to realize that dream. Well the Uptain Family & the Rogers Family showed all of us tonight that we can have real graduations that feel ceremonial enough to pass for a "Right of Passage" moment. I loved it! I love Julie for showing us that my dream for my kids can be real. I'm thankful to Christina for putting all of the effort in and caring enough to do Graduation & Display Night for our kids. I'm thankful to Trevor & Kayla for showing us that there are teens that are willing to graduate from homeschooling - Teens with character. I want to give each of them a big hug again! So proud, so proud!
Copyright © 2009 by Zindra Nelson

So, It Is True

I've been pretty quiet the last few weeks. I've been dealing with a lot.

A couple of weeks ago, I went in for my 10 week ultrasound, which is standard. They check to see if the baby has a heartbeat & if your conception dates are correct and there is none, you end up miscarrying... well, I went in and I was definitely pregnant, but there was no fetus in the sack. I don't remember, they call it something. So, I found out that I would be miscarrying.

I know, I know, I have four kids. But somehow, it was still incredibly sad. The loss. It hurt so much... and then there's the loss of time - the last 10 weeks, I've been tired and sick and feeling like I haven't been giving the kids as much time as they need and they haven't been getting as much done as they should with their schoolwork. And somehow, it seems as if it's all for naught.

Somehow, I'm just trusting in the Lord that it is somehow not all for naught. That there is some sort of purpose to going through all of it.

One thing that it has shown me, is how much support I have around me with friends and family. Friends have called, emailed and left facebook notes. Friends have stopped by and others have brought food. With First Class one thing that Rod & I have really strived to create in general, among our group of friends there - is community. And somehow, we have been the lucky recipients of that community.

I have miscarried once before. About 9 or 10 years ago. Between Josiah and Jedediah. With that pregnancy, there was a fetus with no heartbeat. Although, then I didn't know what to expect, and miscarrying was much harder.

A few days after the ultrasound, I did miscarry. This time, the physical side of things seems to be more difficult. Pain pills were my friends for a few days.

Telling the kids was probably the worst of it all though. They really wanted a sister or brother. Julia still doesn't understand that I'm not having a baby.

Don't be surprised though, if you hear I'm pregnant a few months down the road - it's still on my heart to have another baby & probably now even more than before.
Copyright © 2009 by Zindra Nelson

This is a card I made online, for my Mom for Mother's Day...
I love trying out new creative things to do online...
This one was cute, but not super easy... I do like the results though.

Jedediah Then & Now: 5 Years

(layout - Jedediah Then & Now: 5 Years)
We were supposed to do a layout for out class about Then & Now. I chose a couple of shots of Jedediah. In shot one, he was almost 3, in shot 2, he is almost 8. It's amazing how much he has changed! I'm thinking that if I were to edit this layout, that I may change the two photos... and see if I can find photos of him from those ages that are more of my "favorite" photos. I was late & wanted to get through the tutorials! I love JS's tuts!

My favorite thing out of this layout - the cool ampersand "&" sign at the top left - I learned how to fill that letter with a paper. Y'all know how much I love fonts & I can use any font & fill it with a cool paper! Something that looks really amazing & it's super easy to do (in photoshop anyway!)

What has amazed me about this class in particular, is that i'm learning the skills to actually create these cool background elements myself. I told Rod tonight - I don't think i'll ever go back to traditional scrapbooking! It's tooo much work!
Copyright © 2009 by Zindra Nelson, zindra@yahoo.com