Character - Our Focus!

Every day, I love homeschooling our kids.  Every day I love being home with them!  And today I'm going to be short and sweet.  I do not always feel like I get enough done.  I don't feel like we get enough homeschooling done, or laundry.. or dishes.  Basically any version of housework.

But despite the downfalls of having 8 to 9 people in the house all day every day.. the thing that I can say.. is.. no matter how much of the homework doesn't get done or how high the laundry piles up...

One thing we haven't lost focus on is character.  That's the one thing I want to get out of homeschooling.  And it's not the schooling.  It's character.

I want our kids to be valuable, worthwhile members of society with a well adjusted family that loves the Lord, that loves their family, that understands the value of human life.  Good character.

Maybe in October??

In general, I'm really tired of doctors apts.  I haven't ever had a period of time in the life of our family where we've had so many.  I think from Aug. 29th to Sept 29th we had 17 apts of one sort or another scheduled!

On top of what's going on with me, Jaden's been seeing a urologist and a specialty eye doctor (today they changed Jaden's urology medication.. again.)  Jed's been getting warts removed.  Josiah's been seeing a physical therapist basically because of growing pains (it's helping tons though).  With as many as we've had, it's amazing that we are all really quite healthy.

The stuff we're dealing with is really managing issues that really have needed to be taken care of.  My mole, I probably could have taken off a year ago.  Jaden's been having issues on & off for years... Jed's had this issue with warts for quite some time.. We've taken Josiah in for knee pain probably once a year for three years.  (He really does complain less about his knee since he began PT.)

A couple of days ago, Jevonna finally got what all of us have had go through us (cough, congestion etc.) for the last few weeks.  Well, when we went in this afternoon to pick up ointment for my leg, we looked for an over the counter decongestant so that she might sleep tonight (she has had us up almost all night for a couple of nights...)  Apparently they've quit selling most over the counter medications for children under 4 - we found out after we talked to the pharmacist @ why there wasn't anything on the shelf that would help her.

Well, all those over the counter meds were available for our older kids... that's kinda crazy!  I guess now they say many of those things aren't safe for under 4 anymore & you have to go to the doctor to get something... So, tonight Rod took dear little Jevonna into the doctor.  Four doctor visits in one day.  I think that's a record.  (Not counting when you take four kids in for each of them to have a dentist apt on one day... that happens twice a year!)

Now, if my leg would just heal normally, we'll be back to regular stuff - like eye apts, dentist apts and OB apts.  That would be great!  Maybe in October??

Faith is a decision. A Daily one for me.

Just over two weeks has passed since my excision.  That was quite the interesting experience.  If I ever have to do it again... I'll take my Zune.  Hearing snip snip snip - and knowing they weren't cutting paper was almost more than I could handle... although I couldn't feel a darn thing!

So as of Monday - I've been off crutches.  My incision is still draining.  It's a bit odd to walk.. but I suppose that will be normal again here soon.  Not in too much pain, occasionally it stings.  It stings less now that they've taken the stitches out.  Thank the Lord...

Monday, when I had my stitches removed I grabbed one of the pamphlets on skin cancer.  Rod and I have talked quite a bit about - when will there be a day when I look at my skin, see something odd - and realize it's okay... just have it looked at.  No need to freak out.  I'm hoping that that day will come sooner than later.  In October I have my first "3 month" checkup where they will check my skin.  I'll do this every three months for a year.  Then every 6 months for a year.  Then yearly.  They'll make notes etc. about any moles that are questionable and watch them.  Remove anything questionable occasionally too.

At the moment - when I see something... I have to decide that I won't be fearful - if that makes sense... I have to decide that God's bigger than this too.  Well, I read through the skin cancer pamphlet - because I really do need to know what I'm looking at, ya know?  And of course I saw something on a different kind of skin cancer and it reminded me of this wart type thing that I have on my other leg.  Well, I sort of had a bad moment.  Faith is a decision.  A daily one for me.

Today, Jed went in to get some warts frozen again.  He's been going in off & on for a few months.  He goes to the same Dermatology office as I do.  I love them there.  If I could give them 10 gold stars (out of 5) I would.  I've never felt so cared for at a doctors office.  I don't feel like a patient, I feel like a person - with feelings.  Anyway, Rod said I should go in today with them to have Jed's warts frozen... and that he was sure that Corrine would look at my wart - esp. if we explain all that's been going on.

Well, she came in and before she began talking to Jed... she saw the bandage on my leg and began asking me questions.. how long since my stitches came out... how long has it been draining like that... etc.  Then she told her assistant (if it was ok with me) that she wanted to look at my incision.  I was really relieved.  I didn't like the look of how it had been draining... so I thought it was a great idea.  They swabbed it to see if it's infected, and I might need to take meds.. but I'll know in a few days.  In the mean time, they want me to put medicine on it daily.

Then I asked if she could take a minute and look at my other leg, that I had a wart or something that I was concerned about.  She asked if my incision was due to melanoma in it & I said yes, and that I know I will have a three month check up here soon.. but until I do - I'm not sure what I'm looking at when I look at my skin.  Every time I see something odd... I have to fight the fear.  She told me that if I ever had questions about any mole that I was welcome to call for an apt.  That esp. those of us who've just been diagnosed with Melanoma.. that often times we need to be reassured and that that's okay.  It felt so good to hear her say that.  It's okay for me to be concerned and to want to talk to someone.  She did look at the wart on my leg & another on my foot & she said that they are fine... and that they aren't warts but they freeze off just like warts.. (I can't remember their name.)  Phew.  Glad I didn't wait weeks to hear that!!!

Then on the way out, I saw my regular doctor in the hall.  She was wanting to know if all was ok with my incision & I explained that we were really there for Jed, but that Corrine had seen me & I told her what Corrine had done today.  She was glad that I had come in and that it was looked at.  It just really felt great to day to go in and see friendly faces & get reassured.  It was as if the Lord knew that I was the one that really needed to be seen today... Thanks God!

My Health Issues... Short Version

(written as a note to my Friday School Friends Group)

Hi everyone!  I posted a few posts on my blog about what's been going on recently with me.  I'll give you the short version :D

August 3rd I had a mole removed on my right leg, near my knee.  It was a birthmark type mole that I've had since childhood.  It seemed to have changed so I went and had the dermatologist look at it & they removed it.  On the 5th I found out that it had early melanoma.  Which means skin cancer.  A few days later, I found a walnut sized "mass" in my neck.  Put two & two together... I was a bit nervous about what was going on with me.

Since then, I've had many doctors apts, three ultrasounds, a needle biopsy of the mass and the area around the mole excised (took more skin) all in August.  It was quite the month!  The doctors supposed that the skin cancer on my leg & the lump on my neck would probably not be related because.. in theory, if the melanoma had gone anywhere.. it should have gone to the lymph nodes in my groin, not my neck.  That sort of made me feel better.. 

This week, the excision was done.  The pathology came back clear.  They got all of the melanoma on my leg.  So now just for healing there.  I will be on crutches for my leg for the next 10 days.  Back on my feet for Friday School (not registration).  

For my neck, I got the biopsy results back Thursday.. and they found no malignant cells in the mass.  So, they are confident that it is not cancerous.  They do now believe though that it is a lymph node.  The surgeon wants to see me back after the baby is born.. and he supposes that they will probably recommend to have the lymph node/mass removed.

It's been a very emotional month for me & Rod.  For a week or so, I was pretty scared that I did have cancer in my lymph nodes.  After getting over the shock... I spent a lot of time dealing with fear, fear of loss, fear of the unknown.  I told a few friends and really felt covered in prayer.  I got to the point where I just had to let it lay in the Lords hands, went through the process and waited for the results. 

I'd have to say that at the moment, I'm feeling glad that I'm pregnant.. because if I weren't I know I wouldn't have gone in and had the mole looked at.  This baby very well may have saved my life.  It's also made me take a good look at my life & I realize that the Lord has really blessed me and I need to start thinking like it :D

Thanks to those of you who've brought us meals or are planning to!  It's been a blessing.  Rod & I are realizing that we are both just tired physically & emotionally from all my goings on... and so Thank You!!!  And thanks to Teresa Sommers for putting it together!!  We're looking forward to see you all later in the month!

Zindra

My First Stitches Ever! Good Final Results!

I was a bit nervous for the Monday excision... it went fine.  I love my dermatologist & everyone in their office. Good natured, happy, smiling people.  You can just tell they love people.  Not a number in their office!  They numbed me up... and the worst of it was I could hear the scissors snipping... yuck!  Sewn up and all and didn't feel a darn thing!  I didn't watch.  Neither did Rod!  After the stitches were in I took a peek.  There were 9 internal stitches and 16 exterior.  25 stitches total!  (My first stitches ever!)  They put on the long lasting good sticking bandages.  I get to leave it alone & they will change the bandage on Friday for me!  Then stitches come out in 2 weeks.

That night - well, it started well.  All I can say is that the lidacaine (sp?) took a long time to wear off.  So, in the middle of the night... it started to seriously ache.  I took tylenol like they suggested.  The following morning, I was just in tears.  Frustrated.  Upset.  So I asked Rod if he could call the office and find out if they could give me some pain meds.  They did.. and I was much better.  Slept the most of that day and into the evening, now that I could finally sleep!

The next day the dermatologists office called and Rod found out that the pathology had already come back!  Praise the Lord for overnight labs, huh?  Woohoo!  The pathology came back clear.  No melanoma found in any of the excised skin.  Phew.  They got it the first time :D  I think I would have actually celebrated, if I would have felt well enough to.  I just went back to sleep & Rod went to a Friday School board meeting :D

Thursday - the day to see the surgeon about my needle biopsy results came quickly.  Normally, I may have just called for the results.  I was so worn out that I wasn't ready to get the results!  So we just waited for Thursday to come.  Wednesday afternoon the surgeons office called and they wanted me in in the morning vs. the afternoon.  Yay!  That means I wasn't going to have to wait the whole day!!!  I still didn't sleep well Wed. night though... I've been waiting weeks for the results on my neck.. and I was to find out in the morning.  I was just antsy (not afraid) .. just wanting to know finally, ya know?

On Thurs. morning, we got to the doctors office early so that we could find me a wheelchair.  We've learned over this last week that while I can use crutches, I am not proficient with them by any means.  I dislike  them immensly.. and can't wait to get rid of them.  Ya.  So, Rod went and found me a wheelchair.  I was relieved.  We only waited in the office for a minute or two between the medical assistant and the surgeon coming in.  He came in with "Good News"  I was taken back.  I don't know... I expected to have to wait even longer I guess to hear the results~!  He said that the report came back with "no malignant cells".  He was very happy with this report, and so were we!  I've waited weeks to hear that!  What a relief!

He said that if I weren't pregnant, that they may have done another larger biopsy (instead of the needle biopsy)  or arranged to have it taken out altogether.  At this point, they want me to wait until baby is born... then I am to go in and see if it's gotten bigger or smaller.. and then they'll decide whether or not to remove it.  So I'll see him again in Dec. or Jan.

Wow, I just felt so blessed.  Waited all month for these results!  And both came back fine!  Which means that   I get to have my baby in December like it should be!  Full-term!  What a relief!  Now, to take a deep breath.  Sit back and realize how good it was to find the melanoma in my leg before it got serious.  Praise God that I'm pregnant!  (I doubt I would have gone in to have my mole looked at if I weren't pregnant!  This baby may have saved my life!)

Now to take the time to heal and give myself time to heal... physically and emotionally.  Interestingly enough, despite the fact that "all is well" this last month changed my life forever!  I don't think that I will ever look at my life the same again.  My day to day life is a blessing, despite the "stuff" that goes on or the fact that Rod's unemployed and we haven't been able to do things that we used to do because of finances.  I also look at things like Cancer in a whole different light.  I have a lot more empathy for people who've been diagnosed with any type of cancer... understanding what they go through, the run around, the apts, the fear it induces... Yah, my life has been changed forever!

Getting my bandage changed on Friday went fine.  The incision looks great.  Stitches come out in 10 days!  Then I'm supposed to be able to walk again!  Yay!  I love my legs and the ability to walk!  If I could get myself to take a picture of it - I'd show it to you... (not).